"Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer." -Henry Lawson

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Brooklyn Sorachi Ace

  Brooklyn Sorachi Ace (7.2%)

Smells... Forboding. First taste is unsuspecting. Tastes of acidity, blast of lemon, and hints of cherry.

Japanese hops, meets farmhouse saison style, meets Belgian yeast, meets American enthusiasm. The Brooklyn brewery pulled the old switch-a-roo here. We were expecting one thing but got something completely different. It's full of mystery and cloudy with no explanation. Tastes of stilt walking Belgiums, like a subtle carbonated lambic.

Complex, and an acquired taste - like a woman's mind. These Brooklyn brewery bitches be crazy.

Stamp of Approval 

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Westmalle Trappist Tripel

     Westmalle Trappist Tripel (9.5%)

This will be a stomach rattler. Holy Jesus 9.5%! Smells like it will stab you. It smells of outside. Like you've been outside at 7pm and your clothes smell of wind. It's fizzy and complex as fuck. One of only twelve beers in the world that can be called 'Trappist'. Like your average priest, it's Trappist in the closet... (or R. Kelly.)

Hmm... it's not a stomach rattler, I take it back. It's fuckin' lovely and raspy, like a raspy hand bastard in your mouth. It's a long lingerer. 10 seconds later it's still tasty as fuck. Moorish. For its flavour to strength ratio it gets the Bob Law Ball Blower Stamp. Handle with care or be left walking around with the meat minus the veg.

They didn't really try at all with their labels either, so extra credit for the lads.

One Scrumptious Solution

Trouble Brewing Dark Arts

  Trouble Brewing Dark Arts (4.4%)

Al's not into it. A little hoppy yet a lot of bitterness. "Malt takes the lead." Not trouble Brewing's best, we feel! I give a news anchor page shuffle after that exclamation. Need a chipboard. So dark and Rich in taste.

Not mind blowing. It's a steady Steve, a sound Susan... I Could go all night with this. Or even a sultry Sally! ...A dodgy Dave? Maybe this could be in Eastenders. It's not Boblawballblowing but delicious on tap maybe. This is a bottle luber upper - a baseline beer. Better enjoyed in the winter by the fire. It's just... There. Bit of a Kanye West - probably great but I just don't see it. Very mute as a boozer. There's silent bob the there this.

Average at Best 

BlackJack Drogheda Cream Stout

  BlackJack Drogheda Cream Stout (4.6%)

Disclaimer: This review may contain traces of nuts and subtle racist undertones.

Tastes skinny. In fact, it tastes like Laurel to Guinness' Hardy. Al's not into stout tonight, or ever really. It's somewhere between Nicole Ritchie (After an accident in a coal mine) and Oprah... It's light but so chocolate-y.

Light, easy and smooth. Like a lubed up Lionel rickety Ritchie. It's also as smokey as a 1920's prohibition bar. In fact, it's as smokey as a 1990's Irish bar, with kids drinking Cidona and eating cheese and onion crisps.

It's strictly rhythm here, no iddley widdley with this beer. It's tasty, but without a stout there is better out there.

Average at Best